Uncertainty is sneaky. It often feels like proof that we’re behind or should know what’s next, instead of what it is: a neutral state of not knowing.
Uncertainty makes us feel like we don’t know what we’re doing, but really we just don’t know yet. It makes the time it takes to figure things out feel too long, and it turns the time needed to decide into us thinking we’re indecisive.
And here’s what I want to tell you: Sometimes you’re just in between things. That’s it. And that does not mean you’re off track or even behind.
Every week I work with clients who believed they knew exactly what their lives would look like by now. They did everything right: degree, title, corporate role or business, income, family. Then suddenly, the version of right they arrived at no longer fits, and uncertainty moves in. Once it does, they try to get rid of it.
The first idea is always a new job. People think this feeling can be solved at a new company. A close second is another degree. After that, it’s either starting a business or moving to a new city. And if none of these work, you can always ask ten people what they think.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with any of these. It’s just that I know what you’re really looking for is relief from what uncertainty brings. You want to tell people what’s next because saying I don’t know feels like failure.
This is one of my favorite things to work through with clients. We stop treating uncertainty as a problem to solve quickly and start letting it work for us. When you stop trying to force the future, you become someone who can live well while the future takes shape. And part of this, I think, comes from getting more comfortable with white space.
Instead of reacting to the instinct to fix or fill the space by making more plans or starting another project, I ask them to leave room for serendipity. I usually recommend doing things outside their usual routine. If you need a place to start, try Do. See. Eat. Drink. for a running list of things worth trying.
As they stare at me blankly, I tell them to prepare to say, “You are NEVER going to believe how this all came together.” Most times, that’s how it happens. You cannot plan your way into every good thing, but you can make room for it.
So much in your life is going to change, and the goal is not to get rid of uncertainty. It’s learning not to confuse uncertainty with incompetence. You don’t know yet, and for now, let that be enough.
I'm Myleik. I coach people through career pivots, business decisions, relationships, reinvention, and all the moments that ask us to choose differently. I write about what I'm seeing, learning, and questioning in real time. If you're ready to do the work, you can work with me 1:1, join Bring Your Work, or simply stay here and keep reading.
An on time word for sure! Thank you!
So good that I had to listen twice!